Laid off and quarantined? Start a blog

I’ve made banana bread.

I’ve cleaned the house (even the windows).

I’ve called every person I know.

I’ve done home workouts. I’ve listened to podcasts. I’ve been on walks. I’ve bought four plants. I’ve learned to juggle.

Yesterday, I spent half an hour trying to catch flies to feed to my pet house spiders. Yes, read that sentence again. I wish I was joking.

I’m now at the point where I’m ready to move on from spiders, and I’ve been eyeing up the ground squirrels that run around outside the house. From my meticulous observations I’ve come to the conclusion that they’re waiting for me to pick them up and cuddle them. It’s obvious. Cute little chipmunks too.

“Can I bring a squirrel inside to be my pet?” I ask Seb.
“No.” He doesn’t even look up. We’ve had this conversation before. 
“Why not?”
“They like being outside,” he sighs.
“I’d obviously take them for walks.” Duh. I’m not a monster.

This goes on for a while. Seb still says I’m not allowed.

For now, I’m going to listen to Seb, because he is a lovely and (usually) supportive boyfriend, despite me force-feeding him raw loaves of banana bread every other day for the last two months.

Anyway, if I can’t have a pet squirrel (for now), I will do the next item on the “Corona To-Do” list. Start a blog.

So here we are! Welcome!

Although I’ve been meaning to get around to creating some kind of blog for a while, other things always seem to get in the way. Sleep. Tiger King. Drawing smiley faces on watermelons and putting hats on them. Usual stuff.

Anyway, corona has given me the perfect opportunity to sit back and relax and do some writing. I say “relax” because I am fortunate (and ignorant) enough to not really see or understand the full extent of this pandemic. In fact I feel very zen, sitting here up in the mountains of Canada, while the rest of the world goes around licking doorknobs and swinging 2 metre poles at each other (at least that’s what I assume is going on).

So, because the world has shut and there’s only so many times I can watch Middleditch and Shwartz on Netflix, I’m going to be making more of an effort with this writing malarkey. I’m envisioning fantastic adventure tales, inspiring stories from around the world, and thought-provoking ideas.

In reality, you’re looking at someone sitting in her pyjamas at 3 o’clock in the afternoon who has toothpaste on her chin and just ate a stray piece of cheese that she found on the kitchen table. BUT maybe I’ll wangle something good one day. Who knows! Miracles have happened.

That’s enough of an intro for now. I need to get back to important research. (Does anyone know what squirrels eat?)  

Stay tuned!

Meet my pal Mr Melon. He says: “Wazzzupp boys and girls! Aye aye!”

(I’m not going crazy. You are.)
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